From Mental Health Battles to His FTM Transition, Bennett is a Survivor
In 2017, Pop Rap artist Bennett’s battle with mental health, past drug addiction, and who he truly believed in his heart had come to the light. He made the biggest decision of his life as a transgender man, to transition from female to male. Now 4 years into his transition, he has decided to share his story through a docu-series called “Being Bennett”.
What seemed to be a normal life quickly turned to the struggle of a lifetime for a Bennett. “I was diagnosed with depression at 12 years old after starting to feel very out of sync with life. My family could tell something was going on with me.”, Bennett explains. Having his then psychiatrist starting him on anti-depressants, he wasn’t sure what that meant for his future even at that young age.
It wasn’t until his life came to a screeching halt at 21 years old where the word suicide played a major part in the next several years of his life. “I had numerous suicide attempts, I was in the middle of major drug addiction and I had multiple hospitalizations. I hated where I was in life and who I was. I didn’t know what it meant to be transgender, I just knew I hated who I was.”, Bennett says. Now sober, he had a decision to make, either continue living in the darkness that haunted him or fight for his life. He grabbed the bull by the horns and dove in headfirst.
April 12th, 2017 Bennett started hormone replacement therapy and received his first dose of testosterone. Once a week he injects himself with a shot of hormones provided to him through an endocrinologist he sees where he lives in Connecticut. “My shot isn't my favorite thing to do. At times it hurts and can be painful. Having to give yourself a shot with what seems like a big needle can be intimidating. However, the alternative to not receiving my T shot is a burden I cannot live with so I ask for God’s strength whenever I do it.” Bennett goes on to say that since he has started transitioning, he feels like his life has been saved.
7 months following the start of his transition, Bennett had top surgery, which is considered a vital operation for transgender men. In medical terms, it’s called a double mastectomy which is the removal of the female chest which is then made into that of a male physique. Bennett explains, “top surgery was a must and had to happen for me as fast as possible. I started binding my chest at 12 years old with an ace bandage until I started resourcing to other not-so-safe methods. I went years without looking at myself in the mirror and showering with my eyes closed. That’s how painful it was for me to see myself.”
I asked him “as a musician, having to get on stage and perform not in the body you saw yourself in, what did that make you feel all those years?”. Bennett explains that he felt powerless, uncomfortable and a shell of the person he was. He says “how am I supposed to get up in front of people and say be happy, love life and never give up on your dreams when I’m sitting here hating myself and miserable with life, ready to give up?” He goes on to say how he had a manager at the time and when he came out as transgender to him, the manager told him that transitioning will have to come second to the music. “I knew right then and there I needed to walk away from that situation and take my career into my own hands”, Bennett says. Since then, he has created his independent music label called Bennett Music.
On March 2nd, 2021 Part 1 of “Being Bennett” debuted on Bennett’s YouTube channel. “I wanted to give my fans and supporters the truth that I so well hid from the public. I felt it was time to be fair to them and let them in on my life.”, he says. Taking you into the truth of what he has been through and still experiencing to this day, Bennett lets you get to know a man who was on the verge of losing it all. What might seem like a common story in today’s day in age, is truly the embodiment of survival and inspiration.
Part 2 of “Being Bennett”, titled “From Hell to Hope”, takes you into the details of 12 years old to 26-year-old Bennett. I asked him “what or who gave you safety, or the space to be your true self?”. Fighting back emotions, he tells me his best friend was his saving grace. “I have never met anyone who saw the authentic and true self that I hid. She saw something in me and wouldn’t let me deny it. Hazel gave me what I considered, and still do, to be my haven of safety. She saved my life when I was on the verge of a disaster waiting to happen. I have never been so grateful to have someone like her in my life. I love her with all my heart for everything she has done for me and helped me achieve.”
Music now means something different for him. Having the platform to be open and honest with his fans and following, you can guarantee that his music will be something that reflects who he is as a person. Bennett puts his all into what he loves, which is his music, and inspiring people to be their true selves. He releases new music every Friday and is looking forward to season 2 of “Being Bennett”, which will start production in the coming weeks.
April 12th, 2021 marks Bennett’s 4th anniversary of his transition. He is looking forward to the future of what is to come. With hopes of completing his surgeries to further finalize his transition, his music, and his story is a symbol of hope for those who feel that life doesn’t get better or for someone who might be struggling the way he did. Courage and bravery is a leading factor in his contribution to his craft and passion.
We are never too old to learn, grow and evolve as people, and that’s what I take away from my conversation with Bennett. He is the epitome of a survivor and his story is one that everyone should reflect on and learn about. It has been a pleasure getting to know him.
To watch “Being Bennett”, click the YouTube link below.
To listen to Bennett’s music on Spotify, click the link below. His music is also available on all streaming platforms.
To learn more about Bennett and follow him in his journey, you can visit his website.
